Our Endless Numbered Days

The title of this entry is from a song by Iron & Wine (included in the Mixtape), and I thought it was very appropriate for what I wanted to talk about.

Our Endless Numbered Days. How many days do we have in our lives to do what's right, or what will make us happy. At times, they seem endless, days upon days, as if we have all the time in the world to procrastinate or deside it's too risky. Is that living?

I've been trying to weigh several things in my life: Career, love, friends, living situation. I've been asking myself what I want from my life, what I want to do, what's going to make me happy, what relationships I want with people. I've been asking myself if I want to risk what I already have to find something better, or end up with nothing. The real question however, and there is only really one, to quote William Shakepeare: To Be, Or Not To Be.

If we don't risk ourselves, if we don't put ourselves out there, we will never know what could have been, what maybe what was supposed to have been, because of fear. It's a terrible thing to conquer, fear. But our days are not endless, they are in fact very numbered. If we do not work at conquering our fears, if we do not work each day at getting what we want, we will be left with nothing, and those days, those are the ones that are endless.

Change can be a wonderful thing, it can be a very risky thing but it can be wonderful, but it's not necessary. After all, living is not mandatory. To quote an unknown author, You cannot dream yourself into a character, you must hammer and forge yourself into one. Now, while this quote is directed towards people in the movie business, the jist is the same.

Not doing anything, just going day to day being afraid of change, being afraid of trying to better yourself, it's not living. Risk something, change the way you go about your life. Yes you will lose things, but what you gain, what you gain will be so much more. There are always more opportunities, more job offers and more women. As I think about what I want, and who I want, I realize that doing exactly that, thinking, will not make these things a reality.

How many days do I have? They're endlessly numbered.