Our Endless Numbered Days

The title of this entry is from a song by Iron & Wine (included in the Mixtape), and I thought it was very appropriate for what I wanted to talk about.

Our Endless Numbered Days. How many days do we have in our lives to do what's right, or what will make us happy. At times, they seem endless, days upon days, as if we have all the time in the world to procrastinate or deside it's too risky. Is that living?

I've been trying to weigh several things in my life: Career, love, friends, living situation. I've been asking myself what I want from my life, what I want to do, what's going to make me happy, what relationships I want with people. I've been asking myself if I want to risk what I already have to find something better, or end up with nothing. The real question however, and there is only really one, to quote William Shakepeare: To Be, Or Not To Be.

If we don't risk ourselves, if we don't put ourselves out there, we will never know what could have been, what maybe what was supposed to have been, because of fear. It's a terrible thing to conquer, fear. But our days are not endless, they are in fact very numbered. If we do not work at conquering our fears, if we do not work each day at getting what we want, we will be left with nothing, and those days, those are the ones that are endless.

Change can be a wonderful thing, it can be a very risky thing but it can be wonderful, but it's not necessary. After all, living is not mandatory. To quote an unknown author, You cannot dream yourself into a character, you must hammer and forge yourself into one. Now, while this quote is directed towards people in the movie business, the jist is the same.

Not doing anything, just going day to day being afraid of change, being afraid of trying to better yourself, it's not living. Risk something, change the way you go about your life. Yes you will lose things, but what you gain, what you gain will be so much more. There are always more opportunities, more job offers and more women. As I think about what I want, and who I want, I realize that doing exactly that, thinking, will not make these things a reality.

How many days do I have? They're endlessly numbered.

Summer '08 Mixtape

So, for the first 'real' post of this blog, sit back, relax and enjoy the songs of my summer. Carefully selected, these 18 tracks were favorites of mine throughout the four months of sun, and I thought it would be fun to share them with you, the reader.

Hope you enjoy :)

One Small Step

Well here we are, I've been putting off creating a website for myself for quite some time. It's not that I havent had the time, attribute it to plain old lazyness. Now, I wouldnt go as far as to say that I've just redeemed myself and have actually sat down to create one. No, I sat down and pressed a couple buttons, typed in a couple words, and in a couple of minutes, Google created one for me, well, a blog at least. So until I actually get my act together (and get a new computer), this blogger.com space will have to do...

... Welcome to feariam.blogspot.com

This little corner of the internet will be used to speak (or type) my mind, describe any daily happenings that I think are worth writing about, and, whatever else blogs are used for. This is, of course, assuming I don't forget about this blog tomorrow. Guess we'll find out...